Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
