My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
