and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize