question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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