Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
