You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
