Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
