next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
