Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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