What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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