My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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