ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
