So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
then he tried to convert me to islam
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize