Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
