My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
