2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
