Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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