So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
