he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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