She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
