I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
