we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize