So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize