Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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