my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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