thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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