xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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