**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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