I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
