Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
