My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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