A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
