Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
