She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize