"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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