He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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