would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
