found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
