a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
