Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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