I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I intend to get homeless drunk
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
