I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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