Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
