did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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