I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
