Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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