sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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