you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
no you cant smoke seaweed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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