I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
ttyl tear gas
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
