So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
