update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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