i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
