I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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