Christians are straight up FREAKS
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
