Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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