Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
