You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
