Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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