Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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