Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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