I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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