i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
