who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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